Dueling & Retooling: Big Sis

I didn’t make a stellar first impression. It all started with my request to return you to the hospital at three weeks old and it only escalated from there. Legal Eagle that you are, I’d like to know if there is a statute of limitations on apologies. If not, I hope it’s not too late to offer my sincerest apologies for being a less than supportive big sis.

Incidentally, you wouldn’t be the snarky wordsmith that you are without our epic wars of words.

Awww sister!  Yes, I do credit my thick skin and snarky-ness to all our sister-torture time.  I guess that’s a good thing?  Regardless, I’ll forgive you for torturing me if you forgive me for sticking your toothbrush in the toilet.  I remember you were sick one summer, but I hope to God it wasn’t my fault!

In the spirit of new beginnings, let’s play a little “getting to know you” game. You answer for me, I answer for you, we compare and respond. Sounds fun, yes? Let’s play:

Three words that best sum up my sis: Brilliant. Driven. Hilarious. hmmmmm…It’s nice to know that’s what I project, but inside my head it’s usually more like slumpy, laggard and annoying little sister.
What makes her so funny? Her dry wit and incredibly intimidating sharp tongue. For that we can credit childhood exposure to Monty Python’s Flying Circus.
What do I most admire about her? Her fearless sense of self, laser focused drive and hunger for learning.  You make me sound like I’m the next Wonder Woman.
Most memorable spat: Footsies under the dinner table ended in me accidentally nailing you in the hooha. OH I have another one! The many times we shared a sofa bed and fought ALL NIGHT LONG over the sheets. We fell asleep rolled up in our respective halves so the other wouldn’t steal an inch (you could bounce a quarter off the sheet pulled between us, it was so taut). Finally, we awoke in the middle of the night swinging punches only to be broken up by our sleep-deprived, angry grizzly bear of a father yelling at us in nothing but his underwear. That’ll stop two teeanagers cold in their tracks.  I got nailed in the hooha?  I don’t remember this, but that might explain a few things. (JOKE! Now stop thinking about my hooha.)  It’s a blessing that our shared gene-pool includes tenacity. Otherwise I never would have survived sharing the sofa bed with you.
Funniest or best childhood memory: Can I use that sofa one? I can’t stop laughing. Seriously, our Maine road trips. We were always friends then. How could we not be: summer vacation, driving through New England, listening to Enya and anticipating the awesomeness of camp (and Roy Rogers).  I loved those trips! Family road trips were always happy, except when we brought Emily (the family dog) along and the car would make her so nervous that she’d unleash some wicked, nasty, make-your-eyes-water farts.
My sister is a _______ driver. Cautious. Responsible. I wish she’d go faster. She also has fewer points than me. I know, touché.  Look, it’s not my fault that my car is old and it hates going up hills.
If my sis were a baked good, she would be: Bacon Peanut Brittle because she is salty, sweet and bacon just makes everything better.  That sounds like a baked good description of a man.
What would I most like to cook/bake at the next Sister Fest: CAKE BATTER ICE CREAM BREAD. I still can’t wrap my mind around that enigma.  OH YES!  I forgot about this.  It’s on.
She would rather be _______ instead of sitting at work. Traveling and immersing herself in new cultures. OR cuddling the Bubba (my dog) and the Banana (my baby) on my couch while we drink wine and have a Sound of Music sing-a-long.  YESYESYES!  I’d say you know me well.  This response makes me feel mutually appreciated.
Where would I next like to travel with my sister? If I have to choose just one: Valencia during Fallas. I lied, I can’t pick just one. It’s a tie with Caracas, Venezuela but that will have to wait.  If we go back to Caracas, I promise not to dip your toothbrush in the toilet again.  I feel terrible that I could have made you sick.  When we go to Valencia during Fallas, we’ll dress the Banana up as a fallera.